The Silence Unbroken
by Celestial Angel
Summary: In the aftermath of a terrible disaster, can Reika find the strength to survive her own guilt?
1. The Silence Unbroken

The Silence Unbroken 

**Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon, not in the slightest. Okay, so, don't sue me. This is just purely for entertainment. However, the first thing, the poem belongs to me. I wrote it especially for this fanfic. **

**Author's Note: This is an unlikely couple, and many people will think that I'm reading too much between the lines of the series. I'm warning you, if you don't like surprises, don't read this. And whatever you do, please don't flame!!!!!!!!! Oh by the way, this is for the 03 series, though you'll know that by the characters involved in this. Also, if I get the quotes wrong, don't get mad at me. I have a bad memory!!!! Also, I'm trying to use the Japanese names throughout, and if the characters actually said their names in a quote that showed up in an episode, I changed the names there too.**

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Reika's P.O.V.- 

            It was all over; it was as simple at that. Considering everything, it was pretty damn ironic; we, the creators, had been defeated by our very own creations, but I must admit. It was our own fault in the long run. We could have peacefully coexisted with the Digimon the entire time, well, that would have actually been possible if two things had never happened. One, if the Devas had never appeared and two, if we had never accidentally opened the gate between the two worlds during the testing of the Juggernaut system. We, the ones at Hypnos, were responsible for letting the Devas through. Damn! And everything was going so well before the Juggernaut was ever created. Why did Yamaki have to go and create that monstrous machine?! Why?! But as much as it was his fault, I couldn't bring myself to blame him. But now, everything was falling apart.

~~~

            "Are you abandoning your post?" he asked, clenching his fists.

            The tech stopped walking, and for a brief moment, it seemed as though he would just leave without answering, but he turned around and said coldly, " No, sir. I've just decided that my life is a little more important than your cause. It seems that artificial intelligence has become too smart for its own good."

            Yamaki could not reply, so he watched the tech disappear down the stairs to safety.

            He looked around him at the ruins of his work, all that he had done, ruined, a failure, all destroyed by the creatures that he had set out to destroy.

            The building shook again, jarring loose more vid-screen tiles from the domed roof sending them falling to the floor with ear-splitting crashes. This building was going to be gone in a matter of minutes; they all knew it, and they all knew that there was nothing that any of them could do to stop it. The Juggernaut was a time bomb waiting to go off, and it was unspoken knowledge that if anyone was in here when it did go, there was no way that they would survive. No way whatsoever.

            He stood there, stone-faced, in the midst of the destruction, not moving, not even making an attempt to leave, to escape to the safety of the outside world. To him, I knew, there was no outside world. His world was here, with his work, but now it was all gone, destroyed in mere moments by the very creatures that it had been created to destroy. 

~~~

I look across the room 

_And see  you standing there_

_I hesitate for a moment_

_As words like water form on my lips_

Please_, they beg, we must hurry!_

We must leave here soon!

~~~

            I don't know how long I just stood there watching him. It felt to me like an eternity. There I stood, the building crumbling around me, my eyes locked on him. For several long moments, it seemed as though he wouldn't notice me, but then he looked up, and across the room, through the dust and debris, our gazes meshed for a single heart stopping moment.

~~~

Those crucial words, the warning 

_Form on my lips, but are never spoken_

_But you understand what is happening_

_And you only shake your head in reply_

_Leaving the silence unbroken._

~~~

            I was frozen to the spot where I stood, my heart fluttering wildly in my chest. My cheeks burned crimson; I was deadly embarrassed to be caught staring at him, my boss at that, but the feeling suddenly faded as I regained my composure. For a brief moment, it seemed as though he too had actually reacted. Through those near-opaque sunglasses he was always wearing, I thought I saw something shift in his eyes, like water under ice, but it was so fleeting that I couldn't be sure of what I had seen.

            I steadied my expression, making myself appear calm, but on the inside I was frantic. _Please sir! My mind screamed, __come on! Don't do this! It can't end this way!_

            He seemed to know what I was thinking, however, and he shook his head almost imperceptibly. _No._

~~~

I want to scream 

But sir, you must!

But the words never leave my lips 

_And die among the debris and dust_

Of broken hearts and shattered dreams 

~~~

            Despite my panic, I managed to keep my eyes locked on his, and again, I thought I saw something shift, but this time I was certain I saw it. He looked a bit surprised, but he was probably just wondering why I was still standing here when I should have been running for my life. In fact, I wanted to ask him the same question, but considering the circumstances and what he had just been through, I held my tongue. We stared for a couple more seconds before his eyes tore themselves away from mine and moved towards the stairs, then moved back to mine.

            "Go on, Reika," he said slowly and deliberately as though he had to force himself to speak the words. "Get out of here."

            No! I wouldn't…couldn't leave him here! He was going to die if I did, but if I didn't leave soon…

            The building resonated with the high pitched whine of the Juggernaut. It had almost reached full power by now, and it was going to blow any second. We had to escape now! But he wasn't moving, not an inch. I started towards him, but stopped before I had even taken my first step. He had ordered me to leave. Ordered me! Damn. As much as I worried about him, I had to take care of myself, first and foremost. Dammit! If only we had more time!

            I looked back towards him, the anguish growing in my heart but kept my voice neutral and said. " Goodbye, sir," before vanishing down the stairs to safety.

            For some reason, some part of me actually believed he would follow me, but I knew he wouldn't. It wasn't long before I reached safety, and it wasn't long after that that everything fell apart, and my heart along with my dreams went up in flames.

~~~

Yamaki's P.O.V.- 

            She had waited. She had actually stayed behind, though I can't flatter myself by saying that she had waited for me. She probably just wanted to make sure that everyone had gotten out all right. After all, she'd always been more concerned about others rather than herself, but I'm afraid that she'll never know how much I admired her for that. Well, now it was too late to say anything except to tell her to get out of here. I couldn't let her die here with me. I…no, feelings have no place here and now. All that matters is that she gets out of here. I can't let her…don't want her to die. If I'm going to do one thing right in my life, it's to save her. I won't let her stay. I see the look in her eyes, and I know she'd stay until the bitter end. I have to do something to ensure her safety, so I ordered her to save herself. She hesitated for a brief moment before saying goodbye and running down the stairs.

            Now I was here in this building all by myself, awaiting my own demise. Life can be so cruel sometimes. I didn't even see the point in living anymore. I couldn't make a difference then, not even when I had all this technology, resources and people at my disposal. What hope do I have now that it's all gone?

The dreadful whine of the Juggernaut grew louder and louder, growing to its unbearable peak. I knew that the time was drawing near, but the knowledge didn't even phase me. I just kept thinking back on that look she was giving me before she left. I saw the worry in her expression though she tried to keep it hidden. 

            _She was worried about me! The knowledge hit me hard. __God, imagine what this would do to her! My God! I've been such a fool! I looked towards the stairs, only to find that they had been blocked by debris. __Damn! __It's too late! Looking around desperately, I saw no other exit, but suddenly, an idea occurred to me. __I just hope it's not too late!_

            I was just about to execute my plan, when all hell broke loose.

~~~

Reika's P.O.V.- 

~~~

Crumbling to dust before my eyes 

_He and his dreams vanish in an instant_

_And no one sheds a tear but I_

Beneath the dark and gloomy skies 

~~~

            It had only been a matter of seconds after I ran out of the building, almost stumbling over several large pieces of debris, that all hell broke loose. What remained of the building collapsed in a cloud of dust, disappearing into nothingness before my very eyes. I looked back towards where I had just come out from only moments before, half-expecting to see Yamaki run out right after me, but when no one came out, my eyes widened in shock as I gasped audibly.

             No! I was starting back towards the door when a tech grabbed me around the waist and pulled me back towards him.

            " Reika! Stop!" he exclaimed. " If you go back in there, you'll die too!"

            " I have to!" I screamed as I struggled in his grasp. " Yamaki will die if someone doesn't!"

            " Stop it!"

            I did stop for a second as I said quietly. " Are you saying we give up on him?"

            " No! That's not what I'm saying!" He paused. " Listen! Even he wouldn't condemn someone else to a death like this. Even he would agree it's futile! That place is gonna blow any minute! We have to save ourselves." He turned me towards him and looked me directly in my eyes. " Trust me. It's what he'd want."

            "How would you know that?" I hissed.

            " Let's just say that I know for a fact."

            I stiffened somewhat then relaxed. I sighed softly before acquiescing.

            " Good," he said as he released me. " Now let's get to a hospital. If one's still standing that is." He turned and ran towards where the others were standing, but I remained where I was. Just as I had started back towards the entrance, my plans went up in smoke. Literally.          

            The entire Juggernaut system must have exploded. That was the only thing that could  cause an inferno that big that quickly. The entire mound of rubble that had once been the Hypnos buildings was engulfed in a spectacular fireball that glowed a fatal orange in the afternoon sun. The heat radiating from it was unbearable and I was forced to retreat to a far safer distance. 

            As I did, I heard a large rumbling sound and felt the ground tremor under my feet. Just as I looked up, I heard a deafening roar come from behind me and saw the rubble engulfed in a dome of unearthly white light. The energy mushroomed up towards the blackening sky before disappearing all together. For a moment, I stood there dumbfounded, wondering what had just happened, when it suddenly came to me.

            Instantly I took off to where the others were standing, trying to get as far away from the site as possible. Mentally, I was counting down. _ Five…four…three…two… Before I could even finish, a deadly shockwave exploded with a silent fury._

            I was thrown forwards a good ten feet and landed painfully on the ground with a heavy thud. My left shoulder seared with a fiery pain, and I was sure that I had broken it. My right ankle that I had sprained badly as I was thrown was already starting to swell. I tried to push myself to my feet, but was forced back to the ground by the waves of debris that were flying past me. The force of the shockwave had turned normally innocuous objects into deadly projectiles. Several large pieces of brick collided painfully with my midsection knocking the wind out of me. One piece collided with the back of my head, making me see stars, but thankfully not knocking me out, because if it had, I surely would've gotten skewered by a metal pole. I was able to roll out of its way despite the excruciating pain in my shoulder and the intense force that had me all but pinned to the ground. The smaller pieces of debris cut my skin like knives, leaving my face and hands sore and bloodied. 

            About five minutes later, the shockwave had died down, and things had become all but deathly still except for the far off rumbling sound and the clouds of rising smoke far off in the distance that indicated that those kids were still fighting the giant pig Digimon that had appeared.

            I was finally able to sit up without the danger of being decapitated by flying debris. As I did so, excruciating pain racked every fiber of my being, both physical and emotional. When I was finally upright, I clutched at my sore shoulder as I looked around.

The entire plane around me was cluttered with substantial pieces of debris. Where the building had once been was now nothing more than a smoking crater and the memories, the ghosts of what once had been. A thick layer of dust, about one inch thick, laid over everything within a mile radius, including me. It seemed I had breathed a good amount in, and after coughing and gasping for air for a couple of seconds I was able to breathe again. For what seemed to me several minutes, I sat there, dazed and confused, so confused that I had almost forgotten about him, and I probably would have if a GhostWind didn't remind me.

            A cold wind suddenly howled through the debris causing the dust to rise in large billowing clouds that threatened to suffocate me. I closed my eyes and waited for it to pass. It only lasted a matter of seconds, then it was over. I looked around again, still stunned from the initial onslaught, but as I looked around, my eyes caught sight of something shining in the dirt at my feet, something metallic, something I hadn't seen before. It must have been buried in the dust. At first, I didn't know what it was, but as I gently brushed the dirt away with my hand, it became painfully obvious what it was. Tears began to well in my eyes, but I refused to let then fall. How I wanted to cry, but I couldn't. Not here, not now. I'd cry later. I picked it up slowly, rubbing my fingers along its edges, feeling it, testing it to make certain it and the dreadful truth were in fact real. The metal was cold against my skin, and I winced as it pressed against the many cuts on my hand. Sure enough, I recognized the object in my palm though it was dust-covered, bloodstained, and battered. It had a large dent in it, and a hairline crack running the full length of one edge, not to mention the numerous scratches on it, but I still recognized it. I would have recognized it anywhere. In my bleeding hands, I held Yamaki's silver lighter.

            _No, I thought, __no, it can't be! It just can't be! He's alive! He just has to be!_

            The tears I had been trying to hold back earlier, now slipped out. I just couldn't hold them in any longer. He was dead. He was dead. There was no way he could have survived that explosion. Dammit! I never should have listened to him! I should have gone back and dragged him out of the building with me no matter how much he protested! Now he was dead, and it was all my fault!

            Threatening storm clouds were gathering in the sky, promising rain. It started as a light drizzle and eventually grew into a full-fledged downpour. In addition to all that had already happened to me today, I was now thoroughly soaked. I laughed a bitter laugh to myself. With my luck, I was probably going to catch pneumonia too. I didn't care though. The minute I realized he was dead, I gave up caring. I sat there in the rain battered, bruised, and broken, crying my heart out, and I didn't care who saw me, if anyone did that is. I just couldn't contain it any longer. If I did, I was sure I would go insane. There I sat in the middle of the rain, a crying, wounded soul, and I released all of my pain and my anguish in one single, heartbreaking cry. 

            "YAMAKI!!"

~~~

_Though the dust may yet still rise_

_Hope will long live on._

_I can only hope that we,_

_Will meet again at some new day's dawn_

_Beneath brighter, friendlier skies._


	2. The Silence Unbroken: Into the Light

The Silence Unbroken: _Hikari no Naka e  "Into the Light"_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon, not in the slightest. Okay, so don't sue me. This is just purely for entertainment. I don't own the songs either. The song is from Escaflowne. And I didn't put in the last verse, cause it didn't really fit at the end.**

**Author's Note: This is an unlikely couple, and many people will think that I'm reading too much between the lines of the series. I'm warning you, if you don't like surprises, don't read this. And whatever you do, please don't flame!!!!!!!!! Oh by the way, this is for the 03 series, though you'll know that by the characters involved in this. Also, if I get the quotes wrong, don't get mad at me. I have a bad memory!!!! Oh, and I don't have anything against Soap Operas.**

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If I let go of your hand clasped in mine

Everything would probably come to an end now

What I wanted to know, even what hurt me

Was left unfinished.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reika's P.O.V.- 

            It had been almost two weeks since the disaster at Hypnos, and things were nearly back to normal for most, but for me, things would never be normal again. It felt really strange not to go to work every morning, not to be sitting at my console monitoring the net, not to see _him every day. It was a terrible void in my life that just could not be filled._

            I spent several days in the hospital having sustained a concussion and two small hemorrhages in my abdomen. As it turned out, I hadn't broken any bones. There were just a few sprains and a single hairline fracture in a finger. For several days, I just laid there, dazed, disoriented, and confused, not because of the concussion I had received, but because my mind just couldn't process the fact that he was dead. I don't really remember much about my stay in the hospital, but I do remember one thing. I had kept the lighter the entire time; it sat on a bedside table during my stay. At one point, the nurse suggested that I throw it away, but I snapped at her, asking her if she'd have me throw away my life as well. After that, no one even dared to broach the subject again, but it was just as well.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I should wish for you to find happiness 

I can't, I'm too immature; though I try to wipe them away, the tears keep rolling down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            The day after I got out of the hospital, it was nice just be home, to relax, and not to worry about where I was supposed to be when, but on the third day it began to bore me. I found myself doing things that I wouldn't have otherwise: acquiring sloth-like sleeping habits, sleeping all day, but staying up all night. Sometimes, though, I would be awake during the day, and when I was, I would just sit and watch Soap Operas. After all, they say that misery loves company, but when I watch them, I can't help feeling somewhat bitter. If only my problems could be limited to theirs! If only I didn't have to live with this unbearable pain! This feeling of utter despair and hopelessness! What I wouldn't give to pass this cup of sorrow onto some one else! There are times when I laugh bitterly at the sheer stupidity of it all, and there are times when I just dissolve into tears. It changes from day to day, from one moment to the next.

~~~

            I just can't escape it. Ever since that dreadful day when things were changed irreparably, he's haunted me. He's everywhere, in everything at every time. I just can't escape _him. I hear him in everything, the whisper of the wind, the rustling of the trees, the rushing of water, the silence of the sunset. Sometimes the voice is pleading, sometimes the voice is accusatory. There are times when I think I'm losing my grip on sanity. When I sleep, he haunts my dreams. I don't remember much about those dreams, but I just know that he was there. When I am awake, even though I try to keep from thinking of him I somehow always do and with every passing day, grow more distant and depressed. What I would give just to see him one more time no matter where it was! I would go, even if I had to journey to the very depths of hell itself._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good-bye 

I love you more than anyone else

Even more deeply than the blue of the sky

Don't cry,

We'll meet again, okay?

But only I know that we'll never see each other again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Damn it, Yamaki! Why did you have to go and do this to us!? To me!? Why did you have to go and die like that!?

            They days have crawled by ever since the explosion, and there are some days when I have to sit back and ask myself, ' Is this real? Did this really happen?' I can never be sure. It just all seems so unreal, but unfortuately for me, the pain is all _too real._

            It stabs at me as painfully as it did on the fateful day. It's always there; there seems to be no way for me to escape from it. I wish I could change the past, but that's impossible.

            Now, twelve days after the explosion, I sit here in my apartment, alone and confused. It's been two days since they held  his funeral; they didn't even have a body to put in the coffin. Everyone assumed that it was cremated in the flames; I don't know what to believe anymore. I don't _want to believe that he is dead. He can't be! Some part of me knows that even if there was a body I still wouldn't believe that he was dead, but I don't want to give up the hope that he is still alive. The lighter sits on my coffee table, a fragment of my shattered past, waiting for its owner to claim it. However, with every passing day, my hope grows dimmer that he will ever return._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Someday you, too, will understand the true meaning 

Of this fate we choose.

The precious memories we made

Will live forever deep in my heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            I am so frustrated and confused that I pick up the thing nearest to me, a drinking glass and fling it into the wall causing it to shatter just like my heart. Sitting for a moment, I just stare at the glittering shards, unsure of what to do when an idea comes to me. Clutching the lighter in my hand, I stand and walk over to the pieces. When I get there, I kneel on the floor and pick up one of the larger ones, squeezing it in my grasp, drawing blood from my fingertips. Looking at the glass, I see my face reflected dozens of times, but in each, my expression is still hollow and lifeless. Tears start to drip down my face, falling to the floor in swirling pools. I just can't stand it anymore! The pain is unbearable! I place the lighter on the floor where blood has mingled with tears and rest the edge of the glass against the tender skin of my wrist. Once this was over, I wouldn't have to suffer anymore! I would finally be free of the pain and the guilt! I would finally be able to see him again…

            The sharp edge grazes my wrist just enough to draw blood, but not enough to cause significant damage. I was disgusted with myself. Didn't I have enough courage even to do this? I wasn't strong enough to save him, but I should be strong enough to save myself from this eternal pain. Determined to finish this, I whisper, " I'll see you soon," to the wind and again place the glass against my burning wrist again. I press on it drawing more blood, and just as I prepare to end this, I hear a knock on my apartment door.

            In my shock, I drop the bloody glass causing it to splinter. What should I do? Should I answer? Could it be that maybe, just maybe, my wish has come true? No. I mustn't think that. It's not possible, but as I think back, it came at just the right moment. It was always like that in the movies, but this isn't a movie. This is reality. Harsh, cold, unforgiving reality. Things like that aren't possible are they? 

            I shake my head. No. Feeling somewhat foolish for believing that anything good can happen now, I decide that I will send this person away then finish what I started.

            The person knocked again, and in response, I called somewhat dully, "Hold on, I'll be there in a second."

            As I unbolted the door, I couldn't help hoping against hope that when I opened the door, he'd be standing there, alive and well, but that's impossible. He's dead. I've just got to accept that, though in a few minutes, it wouldn't matter if I accepted it or not anyway. It was probably just a neighbor or a co-worker wondering if everything was okay. Once I got rid of them, then I could finish what I started. I pulled the door open with a sharp jerk, ready to curse whoever it was for showing up unannounced, but when I did open the door, I found myself unable to speak as my reality shattered around me like glass.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I thought it was a tough decision, using the word hope.

In an almost painful embrace, I'm looking up at you.

Thank you,

I love you more than anyone else

Even stronger than dreams.

Hold on to me, don't let go

But don't utter even a single word…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Finally, after what seemed an eternity of silence, I managed to breathe, " Yamaki!"

            My mind was reeling from sheer shock. Was he alive? Was he standing right here, or was I just hallucinating, a victim of wishful thinking? What was it? Or was it that I had really died in the explosion? Or had I actually died from my self-inflicted wound? Were we really meeting in the afterlife, but my mind just never processed the fact that I had died? He couldn't possibly be here, could he?

            I reached out with a trembling hand to touch his shoulder, to make sure that he wasn't some ghost come back to haunt, but I just wouldn't…couldn't touch him. It was as though I was afraid to believe that he was alive.

            For several long moments, I just stood there, my hand outstretched when he reached out with one hand and pulled forward my other hand, the bleeding one, and examined it carefully. With his free hand, he removed his sunglasses and put them in his pocket before asking solemnly, " Well, may I come in, or am I not welcome?"

            I blushed, embarassed. I was so shocked to see him alive that I had forgotten common courtesy. Stepping aside, I half-whispered, " Oh, of course. Come in, sir."

            He entered, closing the door behind him. I reached out to bolt it, and when I had finished, he put his hand on my shoulder and told me to wait. He changed his shoes, then put his hand on my shoulder and gave a slight shove in the direction of the living room. He told me to sit down, then asked me where I kept my first aid kit.

            I told him I kept it in the medicine cabinet, and he left to retrieve it. A few minutes later, he returned with it and sat down on a chair opposite me.

            " Give me your arm," he ordered.

            I complied and extended my arm. He took it in his palm; his skin was rough, but warm against mine and I felt the heat start to rise in my cheeks. I was so sure I was blushing.

            _Get a hold of yourself! My mind screamed._

            He set to work cleaning the wound, and a couple minutes later, it was bandaged.

            " It'll heal in a couple of days," he said simply as he put everything back in the little white box. For a moment, he paused, a roll of white bandages in his hand. He looked up at me, and again, something shifted in his eyes. "What were you thinking?" he asked, barely above a whisper.

             I looked at him, my expression calm and said quite bluntly, "I thought you were dead, and I couldn't live with the fact."

            His expression betrayed no emotion, but, again, in his eyes something shifted, and the bandages slipped from his grip, falling into the box with a soft thud. For several minutes a heavy silence filled the room, laying over everything like a shroud. The floor was dappled with swirling pools of sunlight and shadow that drifted in through the window. Both the light and the shadow seemed to dance as though to music, drifting across the room until they reached the wall where the broken glass lay. The light reflected off the glass illuminating it and making it sparkle like crystals. Its harsh beauty so captivated me that I sat there staring at it for a while.

            When he finally moved, it was to follow my gaze. When he saw the glass, he said nothing, but moved to clean it up. I sat there and watched with something close to apathy, or maybe it was closer to shock. I don't really know what it was, but I just sat there, not moving, not speaking.

            When he finally spoke, after disposing of the glass, it was to ask if he could stay for a while, until everything was sorted out. 

            I was scared to speak, lest I wake and find this to be a dream, scared to break this wonderful spell, so I mutely nodded my consent.


End file.
